How can a man still find me very attractive, but refuse to sleep with me?

It sounds like he's got issues - he has made that part clear. It's not about you. It's not that he doesn't find you attractive. Whatever the exact nature of his baggage, it's there and it's real. If you can let go of him and your expectations/hopes for him, you might be more at peace. Maybe you can communicate on some level as friends, but he's got some work to do on himself. There is nothing solid or real there for you as things stand. I believe him when he says he does find you attractive and I also believe him when he says he doesn't trust women and he's not ready. You can't change him. You can be a friend - but only if you do move on with your own life, go out with friends, do things, and stop expecting him to be different than he is right now. It bloody hurts sometimes, these things. Especially when you do see the possibility for a good relationship. Look after yourself... try to detach from him. If it's meant to be, it will be, without you trying to control it. Good luck.